Divorce and its roots

Divorce and its roots DIVORCE AND ITS ROOTS DIVORCE. It is only a seven-letter word, but it remains very controversial. It is the legal ending of a marriage in some countries such as Western countries. There are various and complicated reasons for divorce. But these reasons are particular to each couple to their marital relationship, experiences, as well as problems. People have this notion of falling in love. They would also ask themselves, Is there such thing as falling out of love? Probably, some people say that falling out of love means that there is no love between two people. There are times that a person would think that, Oh, I no longer love him. or My love for her is already gone. On the other hand, some people do not believe in the notion of falling out of love. In their view, they consider that a person was just attracted to the physical features of the person. Or there is just a sense of belongingness at first, but that feeling or sense vanishes later. People say that there is no such thing as falling out of love. They consider that people just used to feel the love and belongingness from another person, which they no longer feel later in their relationship. This entails that there are some essential factors to keep the relationship stable that are presently lacking or absent. If these factors are lacking or absent, then the relation ship would be struggling and therefore, it needs resuscitation. Before marriage, it is important that the couple is ready in terms of legal readiness, emotional readiness, and financial readiness. They should be in the right age to marry. They should be emotionally prepared for their married life for they would be building up their new family, thus, they would be living separately with their parents. And also, it is better if the couple is financially stable. Being financially stable allows the couple to provide adequate needs for their family. In addition, if the couple has a satisfactory financial status, it is not likely for them to face financial crisis. There would be no financial problems arising in the future. However, some people do not consider this financial stability as a factor in marriage. Some people just get married, without thinking for their future. They tend to think only about the present and there is a sense of neglect where they do not foresee the possibilities that may happen in the future. Probably, this is considered as a reason why some families face financial problems at present. It is because they are not ready and they are not stable financially. In relation to divorce, some people cannot withstand the financial crisis that they experience. They might be used to live a wealthy life when they are not yet married. They want to escape from their financial problems that they leave their partners. Other people may possibly commit adultery because they want to experience a wealthy living. It is recommended that couples under financial crisis should discuss possible ways to increase their living. They can discuss about establishing their family business. They can also seek advice from their friends and family on how they can solve their problems. There are cases that people separate from each other because of cultural differences. It includes the religious beliefs and lifestyle differences. Because the couple has different religious views, they find it hard to relate to each other. There are times that they might have contrasting views. In addition, lifestyle differences affect the relationship of a couple. If one is organized and very systematic, while the partner is messy and has no eagerness to plan for the future, then it would also be hard for them to live together. However, if they learn understand that everyone is unique, then they should try to find ways in order for them to adapt to the exceptionality of each other. Moreover, they should gain respect to each other because respect is an element that makes a relationship stable. If there is no respect between couples, then it is likely for them to have fights or quarrels. Some people leave their partners if the partner has mental instability of mental illness. Some people want their partner to be intellectually and mentally healthy so as to establish and run a productive life. But for some people, having a partner who is mentally ill is very difficult to the other party. It adds pressure because you have to take care of your partner physically, emotionally, mentally. It is draining to them. It is hard because you they to adapt to the abnormality of their partner. Some leave their mentally ill partners due to the social stigma that their partner gets in the society. People with mental disorder or mental tendencies have very poor social life. They have very low socialization because of their qualities. So it is probable that the partners of these mentally ill people are not proud of them and they want to have themselves apart from that social stigma. But in some cases, some people accept their partners for who they are. They have their own strategic an d adaptive ways to cope with the status that their have. It is the concern that they have for their partner. They are eager to provide care as well as support to their partner. This support is the element that binds them together and makes them surpass the social dilemmas that they face. Some people separate because of immaturity or interference from parents. There are circumstances wherein one of the couple is not able to function productively without the help of their parents. They are not able to live a life of their own. They tend to seek help, especially financially from their parents. There are also some cases where in the parents or the in-laws do not want the partner for their child. It may adversely affect their relationship as a couple. However, if the couple would understand each other, they could help each other by identifying their weaknesses and by using their strengths to overcome their weakness. This way, they will be able to live their life more productively, with less help from other people. For some people, the personality of their partners really matters. They want disciplined partners, no vices, and no criminal records. Sometimes, destiny becomes tricky. Some people introduce themselves as people with tender loving care. They tend to mask themselves with good qualities. They hide their real color until the wedding day. But then, months after the marriage, some problems arise. These problems are often related to the qualities of their partners. Some problems, especially to those with low socio-economic status, are related to the vices of their spouse like smoking and drinking. The partner will just smoke and drink everyday. Even some, would take illegal drugs. These factors often lead to physical violence to the wife and to the children. Because of that developing miserable life, some women take their children and decide to leave their husbands. There are cases, especially for men, wherein they leave their spouses because the spouse cannot conceive their child. For some men and women, it is important to them to have their own child. For them, they feel satisfied when they see their own kids playing around and mature as an adult. Other people do not prefer to adopt kids. Because their spouse is not able to produce a child, they tend to leave them and look for other people in the world who are capable of giving them an offspring. However, some people consider the other qualities of their partners. For some, they are not after to having a child, but they are madly after their partners. Some people do not mind if their partner is infertile or sterile, but what is important is that they live happily throughout their lives. Other people consider adopting children if they are not able to have their own. For them, it is the happiness that is important within the family. As long as they are happy, then they have no problems with that . Some people wanted divorce due to lack of commitment to the marriage. If two people just got married but they do not really love each other, would live an unhappy life in the future. An example of this point is when two people just get married because of unexpected pregnancy. They had their child but they do not truly love each other. It just means that they have to marry each other because of their responsibility for their child, but NOT their love and commitment for each other. However, the aforementioned example is not applied to all cases but only to some cases. Another instance is the prioritization of people. Some people tend to focus much on their career or personal growth. As a result, they spend less time to their families because they are already pre-occupied of their work. Furthermore, their partners would feel that they are no longer loved because of that lack of attention. In response, couples should consider that the presence of time and communication is also very signi ficant in a relationship. One of the major causes of divorce is infidelity. Some people have an affair to other people maybe because their partners cannot give their needs like luxury or sexual needs. Most people tend to find love and belongingness from other people when feel that they are not loved by their partners because of work, lack of communication, and mistrust. These things may result to a big problem, which is the absence of faith or loyalty to their partners. Technology today is on the rise and it allows people to meet other people around the world through the phone and internet. The internet is the most utilized tool to meet new people. There are sites in the internet that serves as a tool if one would like to search for a man or a woman. In addition, there are some websites that allow people to chat. That way, affairs can develop and that leads to infidelity. As soon as the other party discovers the unfaithfulness of his or her partner, he or she decides to leave the partner. Some people also loo k for new people where they can find love and belongingness. Problems arise because of lack of communication. Communication is the exchange of ideas between two people. Lack of communication builds a gap between partners. A marriage will also fail when the lines of communication are absent. It is important for the couple to discuss their feelings and concerns to each other. They should address the problem to their partners. This way, they will be able to discuss together possible plans in order to resolve the issues. In addition, constant communication is very vital to couples because it keeps them in touch and it gives them updates to their everyday life. For instance, if the husband needs to work abroad to earn an income for his family, then there should be a constant communication between him and his family in order for them to stay updated about their lives. They can use the telephone, the letter, and the internet in order to keep in touch with each other. Moreover, No man is an island. Of course, people are social beings. People are not p lants or rocks, which cannot speak. People have brains, mouth, and vocal cords that enable them to speak. People tend to talk to other people. This entails that couples, whether they are together or apart, there should be a constant communication between them. It bonds them together as one by keeping the heat on between them. There would be no gap between couples if there is constant communication. It also fills up the social needs of people. Above all, divorce is prevented if certain elements are present to bind the couple or the family together. First, there should be RESPECT. It is the recognition and appreciation of the uniqueness of each other, physically, mentally, socially, intellectually, spiritually, and culturally. The couple should accept the individuality of each other. Second, TRUST should be present. The couple should give their trust to each other. In addition, they should not break that trust because trust is like a glass, which is very hard to fix when it is already damaged. Next is COMMUNICATION. It is the exchange of ideas that enhance the harmony and mutuality of the relationship. It keeps the fire blazing and it adds spice to the married life. It avoids the gaps from building up. It is like a hot blaze that melts the freezing ice. Another vital factor is COMMITMENT. Commitment is a pillar or foundation of a strong mutual loving relationship among couples. Commitment, along with unconditional love, giv es life and eternity to couples. You should be committed to your husband or wife and you should be sure that you love him or her. But then, the word commitment is not simple. This entails that you have the responsibility for your partner. You should work together as one in order to overcome any trials on your relationship. And lastly, then answer to all the problems is LOVE. Without love, we are nothing. If you love each other, you would do anything for you to stay together till the end of you lives, in sickness and in wealth, in life and in death. Respect, Trust, Communication, Commitment, and Love are the elements that work in harmony towards a successful loving relationship. They play a role in maintaining the bond that joins the hearts of two people who love each other. If one of them would be lacking, then the bond would be disintegrated, thus, it allows external negative forces to further destroy that bond. To prevent divorce, couples should consider those elements in order for them to be happy for the rest of their lives.

A Game of Thrones Chapter Ten

Jon Jon climbed the steps slowly, trying not to think that this might be the last time ever. Ghost padded silently beside him. Outside, snow swirled through the castle gates, and the yard was all noise and chaos, but inside the thick stone walls it was still warm and quiet. Too quiet for Jon's liking. He reached the landing and stood for a long moment, afraid. Ghost nuzzled at his hand. He took courage from that. He straightened, and entered the room. Lady Stark was there beside his bed. She had been there, day and night, for close on a fortnight. Not for a moment had she left Bran's side. She had her meals brought to her there, and chamber pots as well, and a small hard bed to sleep on, though it was said she had scarcely slept at all. She fed him herself, the honey and water and herb mixture that sustained life. Not once did she leave the room. So Jon had stayed away. But now there was no more time. He stood in the door for a moment, afraid to speak, afraid to come closer. The window was open. Below, a wolf howled. Ghost heard and lifted his head. Lady Stark looked over. For a moment she did not seem to recognize him. Finally she blinked. â€Å"What are you doing here?† she asked in a voice strangely flat and emotionless. â€Å"I came to see Bran,† Jon said. â€Å"To say good-bye.† Her face did not change. Her long auburn hair was dull and tangled. She looked as though she had aged twenty years. â€Å"You've said it. Now go away.† Part of him wanted only to flee, but he knew that if he did he might never see Bran again. He took a nervous step into the room. â€Å"Please,† he said. Something cold moved in her eyes. â€Å"I told you to leave,† she said. â€Å"We don't want you here.† Once that would have sent him running. Once that might even have made him cry. Now it only made him angry. He would be a Sworn Brother of the Night's Watch soon, and face worse dangers than Catelyn Tully Stark. â€Å"He's my brother,† he said. â€Å"Shall I call the guards?† â€Å"Call them,† Jon said, defiant. â€Å"You can't stop me from seeing him.† He crossed the room, keeping the bed between them, and looked down on Bran where he lay. She was holding one of his hands. It looked like a claw. This was not the Bran he remembered. The flesh had all gone from him. His skin stretched tight over bones like sticks. Under the blanket, his legs bent in ways that made Jon sick. His eyes were sunken deep into black pits; open, but they saw nothing. The fall had shrunken him somehow. He looked half a leaf, as if the first strong wind would carry him off to his grave. Yet under the frail cage of those shattered ribs, his chest rose and fell with each shallow breath. â€Å"Bran,† he said, â€Å"I'm sorry I didn't come before. I was afraid.† He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. Jon no longer cared. â€Å"Don't die, Bran. Please. We're all waiting for you to wake up. Me and Robb and the girls, everyone . . . â€Å" Lady Stark was watching. She had not raised a cry. Jon took that for acceptance. Outside the window, the direwolf howled again. The wolf that Bran had not had time to name. â€Å"I have to go now,† Jon said. â€Å"Uncle Benjen is waiting. I'm to go north to the Wall. We have to leave today, before the snows come.† He remembered how excited Bran had been at the prospect of the journey. It was more than he could bear, the thought of leaving him behind like this. Jon brushed away his tears, leaned over, and kissed his brother lightly on the lips. â€Å"I wanted him to stay here with me,† Lady Stark said softly. Jon watched her, wary. She was not even looking at him. She was talking to him, but for a part of her, it was as though he were not even in the room. â€Å"I prayed for it,† she said dully. â€Å"He was my special boy. I went to the sept and prayed seven times to the seven faces of god that Ned would change his mind and leave him here with me. Sometimes prayers are answered.† Jon did not know what to say. â€Å"It wasn't your fault,† he managed after an awkward silence. Her eyes found him. They were full of poison. â€Å"I need none of your absolution, bastard.† Jon lowered his eyes. She was cradling one of Bran's hands. He took the other, squeezed it. Fingers like the bones of birds. â€Å"Good-bye,† he said. He was at the door when she called out to him. â€Å"Jon,† she said. He should have kept going, but she had never called him by his name before. He turned to find her looking at his face, as if she were seeing it for the first time. â€Å"Yes?† he said. â€Å"It should have been you,† she told him. Then she turned back to Bran and began to weep, her whole body shaking with the sobs. Jon had never seen her cry before. It was a long walk down to the yard. Outside, everything was noise and confusion. Wagons were being loaded, men were shouting, horses were being harnessed and saddled and led from the stables. A light snow had begun to fall, and everyone was in an uproar to be off. Robb was in the middle of it, shouting commands with the best of them. He seemed to have grown of late, as if Bran's fall and his mother's collapse had somehow made him stronger. Grey Wind was at his side. â€Å"Uncle Benjen is looking for you,† he told Jon. â€Å"He wanted to be gone an hour ago.† â€Å"I know,† Jon said. â€Å"Soon.† He looked around at all the noise and confusion. â€Å"Leaving is harder than I thought.† â€Å"For me too,† Robb said. He had snow in his hair, melting from the heat of his body. â€Å"Did you see him?† Jon nodded, not trusting himself to speak. â€Å"He's not going to die,† Robb said. â€Å"I know it.† â€Å"You Starks are hard to kill,† Jon agreed. His voice was flat and tired. The visit had taken all the strength from him. Robb knew something was wrong. â€Å"My mother . . . â€Å" â€Å"She was . . . very kind,† Jon told him. Robb looked relieved. â€Å"Good.† He smiled. â€Å"The next time I see you, you'll be all in black.† Jon forced himself to smile back. â€Å"It was always my color. How long do you think it will be?† â€Å"Soon enough,† Robb promised. He pulled Jon to him and embraced him fiercely. â€Å"Farewell, Snow.† Jon hugged him back. â€Å"And you, Stark. Take care of Bran.† â€Å"I will.† They broke apart and looked at each other awkwardly. â€Å"Uncle Benjen said to send you to the stables if I saw you,† Robb finally said. â€Å"I have one more farewell to make,† Jon told him. â€Å"Then I haven't seen you,† Robb replied. Jon left him standing there in the snow, surrounded by wagons and wolves and horses. It was a short walk to the armory. He picked up his package and took the covered bridge across to the Keep. Arya was in her room, packing a polished ironwood chest that was bigger than she was. Nymeria was helping. Arya would only have to point, and the wolf would bound across the room, snatch up some wisp of silk in her jaws, and fetch it back. But when she smelled Ghost, she sat down on her haunches and yelped at them. Arya glanced behind her, saw Jon, and jumped to her feet. She threw her skinny arms tight around his neck. â€Å"I was afraid you were gone,† she said, her breath catching in her throat. â€Å"They wouldn't let me out to say good-bye.† â€Å"What did you do now?† Jon was amused. Arya disentangled herself from him and made a face. â€Å"Nothing. I was all packed and everything.† She gestured at the huge chest, no more than a third full, and at the clothes that were scattered all over the room. â€Å"Septa Mordane says I have to do it all over. My things weren't properly folded, she says. A proper southron lady doesn't just throw her clothes inside her chest like old rags, she says.† â€Å"Is that what you did, little sister?† â€Å"Well, they're going to get all messed up anyway,† she said. â€Å"Who cares how they're folded?† â€Å"Septa Mordane,† Jon told her. â€Å"I don't think she'd like Nymeria helping, either.† The she-wolf regarded him silently with her dark golden eyes. â€Å"It's just as well. I have something for you to take with you, and it has to be packed very carefully.† Her face lit up. â€Å"A present?† â€Å"You could call it that. Close the door.† Wary but excited, Arya checked the hall. â€Å"Nymeria, here. Guard.† She left the wolf out there to warn of intruders and closed the door. By then Jon had pulled off the rags he'd wrapped it in. He held it out to her. Arya's eyes went wide. Dark eyes, like his. â€Å"A sword,† she said in a small, hushed breath. The scabbard was soft grey leather, supple as sin. Jon drew out the blade slowly, so she could see the deep blue sheen of the steel. â€Å"This is no toy,† he told her. â€Å"Be careful you don't cut yourself. The edges are sharp enough to shave with.† â€Å"Girls don't shave,† Arya said. â€Å"Maybe they should. Have you ever seen the septa's legs?† She giggled at him. â€Å"It's so skinny.† â€Å"So are you,† Jon told her. â€Å"I had Mikken make this special. The bravos use swords like this in Pentos and Myr and the other Free Cities. It won't hack a man's head off, but it can poke him full of holes if you're fast enough.† â€Å"I can be fast,† Arya said. â€Å"You'll have to work at it every day.† He put the sword in her hands, showed her how to hold it, and stepped back. â€Å"How does it feel? Do you like the balance?† â€Å"I think so,† Arya said. â€Å"First lesson,† Jon said. â€Å"Stick them with the pointy end.† Arya gave him a whap on the arm with the flat of her blade. The blow stung, but Jon found himself grinning like an idiot. â€Å"I know which end to use,† Arya said. A doubtful look crossed her face. â€Å"Septa Mordane will take it away from me.† â€Å"Not if she doesn't know you have it,† Jon said. â€Å"Who will I practice with?† â€Å"You'll find someone,† Jon promised her. â€Å"King's Landing is a true city, a thousand times the size of Winterfell. Until you find a partner, watch how they fight in the yard. Run, and ride, make yourself strong. And whatever you do . . . â€Å" Arya knew what was coming next. They said it together. † . . . don't . . . tell . . . Sansa!† Jon messed up her hair. â€Å"I will miss you, little sister.† Suddenly she looked like she was going to cry. â€Å"I wish you were coming with us.† â€Å"Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle. Who knows?† He was feeling better now. He was not going to let himself be sad. â€Å"I better go. I'll spend my first year on the Wall emptying chamber pots if I keep Uncle Ben waiting any longer.† Arya ran to him for a last hug. â€Å"Put down the sword first,† Jon warned her, laughing. She set it aside almost shyly and showered him with kisses. When he turned back at the door, she was holding it again, trying it for balance. â€Å"I almost forgot,† he told her. â€Å"All the best swords have names.† â€Å"Like Ice,† she said. She looked at the blade in her hand. â€Å"Does this have a name? Oh, tell me.† â€Å"Can't you guess?† Jon teased. â€Å"Your very favorite thing.† Arya seemed puzzled at first. Then it came to her. She was that quick. They said it together: â€Å"Needle!† The memory of her laughter warmed him on the long ride north.

SQ3R Method of Reading †Retain More Information

Throughout college and graduate school, you can expect to be assigned a great deal of reading,  and students who arent comfortable with reading or who feel like their skills are deficient will find it hard to succeed.  Attend class without having read and youll hurt only yourself. The most efficient students read with purpose and set goals. The SQ3R Method is designed to help you read faster and retain more information than ordinary reading methods. SQ3R stands for the steps in reading: survey, question, read, recite, review. It might seem like it takes more time to use the SQ3R method, but youll find that you remember more and have to reread less often. Lets take a look at the steps: Survey Before reading, survey the material. Glance through the topic headings and try to get an overview of the reading. Skim the sections and read the final summary paragraph to get an idea of where the chapter is going. Survey — dont read. Survey with purpose, to get a background knowledge, an initial orientation that will help you to organize the material as you read it. The surveying step eases you into the reading assignment Question Next, look at the first heading in the chapter. Turn it into a question. Create a series of questions to be answered in your reading. This step requires conscious effort but is worth it as it leads to active reading, the best way to retain written material. Asking questions focuses your concentration on what you need to learn or get out of your reading  Ã¢â‚¬â€Ã‚  it provides a sense of purpose. Read Read with purpose — use the questions as a guide. Read the first section of your reading assignment to answer your question. Actively search for the answers. If you finish the section and have not found an answer to the question, reread it. Read reflectively. Consider what the author is trying to say, and think about how you can use that information. Recite Once you have read a section, look away and try to recite the answer to your question, using your own words and examples. If you can do this, it means that you understand the material. If you cannot, glance over the section again. Once you have the answers to your questions, write them down. Review After reading the entire assignment, test your memory by reviewing your list of questions. Ask each one and review your notes. Youve created a set of notes that provide an overview the chapter.  You likely will not have to reread the chapter again. If youve taken good notes, you can use them to study for exams. As you review your notes, consider how the material fits with what you know from the course, experience, and other classes. What is the informations significance? What are the implications or applications of this material? What questions are you left with? Thinking about these bigger questions helps to place what youve read within the context of the course and your education — and is likely to lead to better retention. The extra steps of the SQ3R method may seem time-consuming, but they lead to a better understanding of the material so youll get more out of the reading with fewer passes. How many of the steps you follow is up to you. As you become more efficient you may find that you can read more — and retain more — with less effort. Regardless, if an assignment is important, be sure to take notes so that you dont have to reread it later.

Which States Have the Richest Biodiversity

Biodiversity is the richness of life in all of its forms, from genes to ecosystems. Biodiversity is not distributed equally over the globe; several factors combine to create so-called hotspots. For example, the Andes in South America or the forests in Southeast Asia have many more species of plants, mammals, or birds than almost anywhere else. Here, let’s examine the number of species in individual states, and see where North America’s hot spots are located. The rankings are based on the distribution of 21,395 plant and animal species represented in the databases of NatureServe, a non-profit group devoted to supplying information on the status and distribution of biodiversity. The Rankings California. The richness of California’s flora makes it a biodiversity hotspot even in global comparisons. A lot of that diversity is driven by the large variety of landscapes found in California, including the driest of deserts, lush coastal coniferous forests, salt marshes, and alpine tundra. Mostly separated from the rest of the continent by high elevation mountain ranges, the state has a large number of endemic species. The Channel Islands off California’s southern coast provided even more opportunities for the evolution of unique species.Texas. Like in California, the species richness in Texas comes from the states sheer size and the variety of ecosystems present. In a single state, one can encounter ecological elements from the Great Plains, the southwestern deserts, the rainy Gulf Coast, and the Mexican subtropics along the Rio Grande. In the heart of the state, the Edwards Plateau (and its numerous limestone caves) holds a rich diversity and many unique plants a nd animals. The Golden-cheeked Warbler is a Texas endemic relying on the juniper-oak woodlands of the Edwards Plateau.Arizona. At the junction of several great arid ecoregions, Arizona’s species richness is dominated by desert-adapted plants and animals. The Sonoran Desert in the southwest, the Mojave Desert in the northwest, and the Colorado Plateau in the northeast each bring a unique suite of arid land species. The high elevation woodlands in the mountain ranges add to this biodiversity, especially in the southeast portion of the state. There, small mountain ranges collectively referred to as the Madrean Archipelago carry pine-oak forests more typical of the Mexican Sierra Madre, and along with them species reaching the very northern end of their distribution.New Mexico. This state’s rich biodiversity also comes from being at the intersection of several major ecoregions, each with unique plants and animals. For New Mexico, much of the biodiversity comes from the Gre at Plains influences in the east, the Rocky Mountains incursion in the north, and the botanically diverse Chihuahuan Desert in the south. There are small but significant inclusions of the Madrean Archipelago in the southwest and the Colorado Plateau in the northwest.Alabama. The most diverse state east of the Mississippi, Alabama benefits from a warm climate, and the absence of recent biodiversity-leveling glaciations. Much of the species richness is driven by the thousands of miles of freshwater streams running through this rain-soaked state. As a result, there is an unusually high number of freshwater fish, snails, crayfish, mussels, turtles, and amphibians. Alabama also boasts a variety of geological substrates, which support different ecosystems in sand dunes, bogs, tallgrass prairies, and glades where the bedrock is exposed. Another geological manifestation, extensive limestone cave systems, supports many unique animal species. Source NatureServe. States of the Union: Ranking America’s Biodiversity.